It's a tumor

After more than a week of painful and menstrual like contractions and no delivery -it's confirmed (in my mind) I'm not pregnant it's a tumor. Good grief could this get any longer, any more uncomfortable (especially when she moves her little rump under my ever expanding rib cage). Everyone keeps asking me did you have the baby yet (really I would call you), oh you look so tired (yeah the bags are now hanging down my cheeks and thanks I needed to hear it as well as see it for myself in the mirror), and oh it's ok that you are crying for the umpteenth time today I know it's hard (yeah it's hard when I feel everyone is waiting for this little one and I keep thinking this is it and then of course it's not). I really envy the women who feel gorgeous and sexy and more like a woman being pregnant...me on the other hand feel like Grimace (as my brother-in-law so sweetly called me when pregnant with Trinity and wearing one of my purple maternity shirts) or just a big fat toad. To me the pregnancy and through the first year are so hard emotionally and physically. I love the result-this gift from God that is amazingly beautiful and makes me gush with love. But letting my body (particularly feet and boobs) expand to mammoth proportions and then after birth working hard to get enough sleep while breastfeeding (which by the way is hard and hurts the first month). Then on top of that I work hard to get my body back into the clothes I longed to wear about half way through my pregnancy. Right now I am looking at all my cute dresses and even just my around the house clothes and I cannot wait to fit in them again. Wearing the same maternity clothes for 9 1/2 months really gets old and it starts to affect my entire self image and mood. Well, hopefully she will be here soon and I can actually post a picture of my tumor and even though I'm emotional and grumpy now-at least I'll be smiling with the blessing from God in my arms!!