A Year Later

It's been about a year now since Craig was laid off from Radiant Systems.  We have grown so much in this valley and ways that neither did I expect to grow but also didn't know I could grow.  I still remember this time last year.  Craig came home from work and had called me earlier in the day to tell me something big had happened and he would be home a little earlier.  I was nervous but when he came home and told me his manager had let him go and was crying as she told him they were laying him off and several others and would miss him so much I remember being a little scared and excited at the same time.  I was scared because I had found out I was pregnant after months of trying three months before this day.  I was worrying how we would be okay with health insurance and food and paying the bills.  I was excited because Craig had complained about this company and how they took advantage of the mom and pop vendors that Craig managed and would basically steal from them, promise them something and then forget they existed until the next time they needed paid.  Craig had to mediate these angry customers who were so similar to us (just trying to make ends meet and doing their best).  His managers always commented on how well he could calm them down and work with them. The vendors constantly told his managers they would work with no one else because when Craig said he would do something he would-he was and is a man of integrity.

After that day we muddled through praying fervently but enjoying our new found time together.  The kids and I relished him being home and getting to make up for all the hours the work seem to occupy in the week.  We've always been good about sitting down together and eating dinner as a family.  We always pray together and always keep lines of communication open so that at the end of the day we know everyone is okay but having him home was really a blessing.  Then November passed and the testing started.  Craig's severance was dolled out in one lump sum and over half was taken in taxes and it was supposed to last until after Christmas.  Because of this we didn't qualify for food stamps or unemployment benefits until this time period had passed.  We went to our care ministry at church and were so encouraged by the minister and the staff as they prayed over us and gave us ideas on how to stretch our money and then loaded us up with a cart full of food from their pantry.  We had three hams and a turkey that holiday season not to mention the one Josh Dorminy, our Sunday School teacher, brought over to us during Christmas.  I have never cried so much nor been so humbled by the outpouring of people not only sending us money to help us buy gifts for our children but just telling us they loved us and were praying for us.  It was surreal.  It was an incredible blessing. We were able to buy Christmas presents for our kids AND a little girl donated gifts and gift cards to our kids so that they could have a Christmas.  My kids didn't go without and Trinity was so inspired by this little girl that she begged me to be able to do the same when we get back on our feet.  To that we emphatically said, "YES!".  On Christmas night someone knocked on our door and Craig opened the door and saw someone running away but nearly fell over a huge bag of gifts for the kids and Craig and I.  Our anniversary was the 20th of December and we didn't even think about it except thanking God for each other and making sure the kids were ok and here is this gift bag with presents for us too (even some treats for our dogs).  I found out it was my sweet neighbor down the street (who was running away from the door and just as pregnant as me) who had delivered these surprise packages.  What angels we have around us! 

Craig began teaching and encouraging others through an unemployment class at church under our church's job ministry.  He was more blessed by the people who had lost their jobs, wives that left their husbands because they couldn't provide for them anymore, people who were living out of their cars because they lost their homes after being laid off and not being able to find work.  Someone would come up after each class and tell Craig how God had spoken through him and given them hope when they thought all hope was lost.  The night before one of Craig's classes I was down and was crying and whining about how I wouldn't be able to get anything for Annaliese and the car seat we needed to replace for Brendan.  I wanted a comforter or something to put into Brendan's old crib that would now be hers.  I cried and asked Craig how were we going to get through this and be able to care for this little one in my growing belly.  I questioned if it were all a big mistake to have even tried.  Craig just held me and we prayed together that God would just comfort us and provide what we needed for her and the other kids.  The next night one of the widows that attended the class gave Craig over $400 for the baby that she had collected from her Sunday School class.  I was able to buy Brendan and Annaliese their carseats, her bedding, some essentials like clothing, and diapers.  I cried and cried that night for my lack of faith in my Father and how again he humbled me and provided even though I had doubted just hours before this blessing.

God answered so many prayers over the course of last year.  Like the prayer for my placenta previa to heal so Annaliese would receive the nourishment form my body as she grew in utero.  He blessed us with the ability to pay all the money back that the church had helped us with in December when we couldn't pay our utilities and paid back all the gift cards and tithed off of all the gifts given by so many people AND we were able to donate over $500 of food to the food pantry during their annual food drive.  Never had donating food to the pantry meant more to us than at that time.  God protected Annaliese and I during the delivery as my body went into shock and she I both were in danger.  He has answered the prayers on providing food at just the right time even with a mess up in our food stamp account.  The kids have been able to go to the doctor through medicaid coverage worry about any money issues.  I was able to buy Trinity's curriculum with our tax refund to homeschool her.  And we haven't missed a tithe yet.  Can you say Amen?  If ever my faith has been tested in my life it has been now but my faith has grown and been refined by fires.  It's truly amazing.

What have we learned?  Well, we've learned some great things.  When Gods states in the bible he provides -he really does.  When he states it's all for his glory and for our good-it really is.  We've learned to rely on him alone through some very painful situations and trials that I can't go into on this blog and things that I still struggle with some days.  But I trust that he sees it all and justice will be his not mine.  I praise him for his protection and love and most of all for those days that I get on my knees and into his word with a heart so discouraged I don't think I can make it another breath...and he gives me a verse like Philippians 4:6-7:

 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  And I weep and know without a shadow of a doubt that He has heard my cries and feels my pain. 

I look forward to this new year, new beginnings, our widow's ministry forging ahead to bless and minister to others, and ways to minister to others who are down and out like so many of us.  But most of all I relish in my relationship with my Father who has me in his hands.  Amen!