A little peace

Well, the last two days I have gone for walks in the morning with the kids in tow. I am not brave enough to bring Chippie yet (he drags me through half the walk and then I drag him home). Today I made Brendan sit in his stroller on the way back and had Annaliese in the Bjorn carrier. Whew! My shoulders were burning and I was panting by the time we got home. At least I know I am actually working some muscles! Walking with Brendan is not really exercise since he stops and wants to squirt every bug or dried up worm he finds on the sidewalk with his spray bottle of water. But I talked (bribed) him into doing the stroller on the way home by putting popsicles for he and Trinity in a water bottle filled with ice and telling him he could have it as he rode home. That worked (today).

And of all the decisions we have had to make one was made for us this past week. We had to forgo COBRA health insurance for Craig and I. Praise God the kids are covered under Medicaid but we just couldn't come up with over 1K by July 1st we had less than 30 days to come up with the money). We have really used all our extra funds to pay our mortgage. Now maybe we can use the money that was going to go towards health insurance and put it towards our house payment and keep us out of foreclosure awhile longer. All I know is I have such a peace about it all. I really don't care that we don't have health insurance. I am really seeing God burn up all the stuff that I was leaning on down here to make me feel "secure" and in control of my life (jobs, health insurance, people supporting and encouraging, titles, etc.). Slowly I am leaning more and more on Him alone. And you know what? I have more peace now than I have had during this whole ordeal. Only God could do that! As Mary Mary sings on the music player I put on the blog page sings,

"Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance
I just wanna praise you
(What'cha wanna do?)
I just wanna praise you
(Yeah, yeah)
You broke the chains now I can lift my hands
(Uh feel me?)
And I'm gonna praise you
(What'cha gon do?)
I'm gonna praise you

In the corners of mind
I just can't seem to find a reason to believe
That I can break free
Cause you see I have been down for so long
Feel like the hope is gone
But as I lift my hands, I understand
That I should praise you through my circumstance

Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance
I just wanna praise you
I just wanna praise you
You broke the chains now I can lift my hands
And I'm gonna praise you
I'm gonna praise you

Everything that could go wrong
All went wrong at one time
So much pressure fell on me
I thought I was gon lose my mind
But I know you wanna see
If I will hold on through these trials
But I need you to lift this load
Cause I can't take it anymore"

That's such a great song it just makes me want to get up and dance (or at least do my head bob)...which of course completely embarrasses the kids. How can they be embarrassed of me already? Oh it makes me laugh so hard! I know Tanya would love this song and she would be calling me a dork for dancing so bad...oh well at least I'm Praising Him!