Forever part of me

I haven't written in couple days although I have wanted to.  Friday we had snow in the afternoon and Saturday it snowed all day!  It was beautiful!  It was a taste of the mountains for Craig and I who would love to live in the Tennessee mountains or Colorado Rockies or Montana (that's only me Craig only wants to go far north as Colorado). 

This is Tanya holding Teddy her adorable bunny when she was in 8th grade.  I'm in my lovely (gag) chorus dress ready to go perform at a concert.  I think I was in 12th grade? Tanya is so beautiful in this picture.

Friday was also my little sister's (and best friend through childhood) birthday.  She would have been 29!  I can't even believe it.  I wonder what she would have been like at 29?  Would she have settled down and had children?  I want to write more but for some reason I can't.  Maybe it's too painful and private for me.  I wasn't there when she died nor the year she struggled with her health and numerous surgeries after the accident.  I feel I let her and my parents down.   I let myself down.  So Tanya's birthday I will remember her as a sweet little girl who I loved sharing a room with as kids and how we drove each other crazy but also loved each other unconditionally through all the drama we lived through.  Everyday I will think of her and I am not going to just remember her on the one day of her birth or death.  She is more than one day in my memory.  She is part of my soul and part of me forever.  I love you Tanya...Happy 29th birthday.  I thank God he allowed you to be born and be my sister.