Growing Up in a Sinful World

It's snowing here again!  I can't believe it!  Ole Beauregard the Ground Hog of the south better be right about spring coming early because I have gardening I'm anxiously and eagerly wanting to get started on.  Don't get me wrong, I love the snow and love the way the kids get so excited about how the backyard looks like a winter wonderland.  I love it too!  The snow is quiet and peaceful and unlike rain makes everything reflect light and makes even a cold dreary day seem brighter somehow.  It reminds me everytime of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross covering our sins.  His perfect white over our dark stain of sin.  So beautiful!  I have a cold coming on and I feel extra tired and just want to curl up and sleep, and sleep, and sleep...but we all know that with Georgia never having this kind of weather (ok rarely since we've had it numerous times this year) I need to let the kids get out there and have a great time getting their faces and eyelashes wet with snowflakes and snowball fights.  So after Annaliese's nap and finishing the pot of soup on the stove that's where we'll be in the snow.

Now on a completely different note Trinity and I have had some grown up discussions as of late.  It was all brought on by a Go Daddy commercial in between NASCAR airing on T.V..  I hate those commercials and although Craig immediately looks away when he knows it's coming on, this time Brendan sat and stared at the commercial while I frantically grabbed for the remote (I was in the middle of changing Annaliese while she's wrestling me mid-diaper change to crawl away) and turned off the T.V..  Brendan asked why I did that.  Craig answered for me saying it wasn't a good commercial.  We went to make dinner and kept the T.V. off and Trinity asked why the commercial was bad.  So Craig had to explain how some women use their looks and body to get attention in a bad way.  Trinity didn't understand why a woman would want to do that...show their bodies for sexual attention from men that were not their husbands.  Craig explained that girls and women do this usually because they've been abused or hurt either by their Dad not being in their lives or abusing them while they were in their lives.  I had to go upstairs and give Annaliese a bath so I wasn't privy to everything they were discussing but I couldn't wait to hear what he had said (and add my two cents in of course). 
After putting the kids to bed and Annaliese to sleep I went in and asked Trinity if she had any questions about what they talked about.  She was still hung up on why women would actually show their bodies, have sex with men before marriage with men who were not their husbands, why would women want to get attention that way? It was really bothering her.  I prayed before I answered and then said, "Sin.  Sin is why women choose to get attention in those ways.  We all have a choice just like Adam and Eve did.  They chose to eat the apple knowing that God had said they would die.  The women choose to get attention like that.  Alot of the time the women haven't been taught by the people God placed in their lives to protect them and care for them and teach them that it's wrong to get attention that way.  But the law is written on their hearts and what the world calls a 'conscience' is really God's law and it tells us that it's wrong.  They choose to do the sin."

"Why do their Mama's and Daddy's hurt them?  Why would they do that to their children," she asked very upset.

"Because, the Mama's and Daddy's also chose to sin.  When we choose to hit our children in a rage rather than calm down and back away until we are calm we sin.  When we choose to attack our children with words that make the children feel like they aren't special to God or anyone, parents sin.  They have the law written on their hearts, too.  We all know right from wrong no matter what has happened to us because God made us with it to look to even if we don't know Him.  When we sin we hurt ourselves and others.  When the parents choose to hurt those children and not do the right thing they eventually harden their hearts to what's right and one day they won't see the right anymore."

"Like the pharoah?"

"That's right like the pharoah.  And then the children suffer for it.  They start to believe they are nothing.  They believe the devil's lies that God never cared for them in the first place.  Then if they have sex before marriage or drink or do drugs or anything they know is wrong they start to believe the lie even more.  They may say, 'Well, I've already done this or that so I am bad and why would God ever want to forgive me?  I can't go to God because look how horrible I am.  My parents were right...everyone is right.  I'm not good at all.'  Then they either give up and continue sinning and hardening their hearts or they continue sinning and trying to get attention hoping someone will come and rescue them and prove them wrong."

"That's horrible Mama.  I'm so blessed that you and Daddy are my parents and that you don't hurt me like that."

"I'm a sinner too baby.  Everyday I have a choice to do the right thing or to sin.  I try hard to do what God wants but I'm not perfect and somedays I feel I fail.  But I choose to make my life better because without Jesus I know how empty my life is.  That's why when we see someone who looks like they are struggling with sin we should never judge them but we should show Christ's love to them.  They have already been beaten up by the world but Christ is in us and we've got the responsibility to show them they mean something to Him!  And then they will have a choice.  Will they accept Jesus or choose to believe the devil's lies.  We can't make that decision for them and we can't make them accept Christ even if we know how much better their lives will be with Christ.  It's up to them.  And that's also why it's so important that you choose to marry a Christian man.  Your body is already starting to change into a young woman and it won't be long and your hormones will make you feel so good at times that you want to have sex.  Just remember that is your gift to your husband and yourself.  Before you get married make sure the young man that you really like is one who will respect you, support you, make you laugh.  Because once you're married and get older you don't have sex everyday because you have niblets running around, you're tired, you don't feel like it because you ate too much dessert, (here she's giggling) but if your husband is like Daddy is to me you'll make it through all those hard times.  When you fight you'll know he isn't going to leave you or say anything back to you to make you feel horrible.  You'll know that when you two calm down you'll hug and talk it through and make up.  If you're having a horrible day he'll tease you or make you laugh so you don't feel so grumpy-like Daddy does for me all the time (here she giggles again and nods her head a little too much).  And when you feel like everybody and everything is going against you he's on your side.  If a gorgeous woman walks in the room and all the men are staring at her your husband looks at you and not at her and tells you how beautiful you are.  And you do the same for him...you make him feel like he's the best thing in the world second to God."

It was an intense conversation and I know there will be more.  We are beginning a new chapter in her childhood.  I am nervous about because I made so many mistakes in my own and I want to protect her from those mistakes that still haunt me today.  I know that I can't protect her from everything...but I do know that God can.  I pray for each one of my children day and night.  I only hope this door of communication stays open so that each one of our kids can come to Craig or myself and ask any question or discuss any topic before they go to a friend and get information that may not be godly advice.  Or maybe they'll go right to God.  That would be good.  I'm thanking Him for the time they do come to me for answers and I'll be praying for them always.