Crazy week

Last week we had a horrible week!! For two weeks straight we had doctor appointment after doctor appointment, ministry luncheons, zoo field trip, some kind of virus that Annaliese and I got and knocked us out for a few days, some really bad school days, and spiritual attacks that left Craig and I on our knees crying for mercy. It was unreal! I can only thank God for the new days he gives us and the fresh start each new dawn unveils. I do believe we are stronger (although still dragging and worn down) than last week and have definitely learned more about who we are in God's eyes.

Trinity, with all the chaos going on, was having a really hard time concentrating. And I can't say that I am at my best teaching her and being patient and uncritical when all the chaos is going on either. I really hate to see the stuff that comes boiling out from my heart. It ain't a pretty sight! So halfway through last week I told her we would take it slow. But of course she was still having issues with paying attention AND because she doesn't want to do anything wrong she gets extremely nervous when she thinks she might get an answer wrong or might disappoint me. For example, Saturday we were finishing up a math page for the week and had done really well all morning getting caught up on loose ends so we could start fresh on Monday. She was paying attention and enjoying herself and then comes the dreaded word problems on the last section of her math page. I remember loathing these as a child and am still not particularly fond of word problems (particularly the ones I remember vaguely- because it's been awhile- on the SAT). So we approach with dread (I'm trying to hide mine but I think I was already tense and she sensed it).

Me-Trinity, would you add or subtract or multiply to figure out what the apples and oranges are altogether (big emphasis on altogether)
Trinity- silence
Me -Come on Trini we are almost done and then you have the rest of the weekend to play you can do this you know this...think ALTOGETHER
Trinity- ummmm...subtract?
Me-Really???
Trinity-I mean add?
Me- ok you dont know look at the problem what are you going to do? remember you're key phrases and words and underline that in your problem
Trinity-(squirming in her seat and about to cry)
Me-Why are you about to cry? I am not mad you can do this. If you get it right great if you don't let me teach you how to do it...but don't cry
Trinity- (now in full bawling tears) But I want to get it right
Me- ok let's take a break

We finally finished the last two word problems without any more tears but it was like pulling teeth to get the answer out of her. This week...I said I'm here if you need me but you need to do it yourself so I can see what you do know how to do and what you don't know how to do. And guess what...she got them all right without any help of mine-NADA! Awesome, awesome, way to start this week! And she's starting to get her essays and that it's about her creativity and not restating what the author says. I want her to know people who read her work want to hear her voice, her opinions, her take of the book/story. After telling her all that, she opened up and wrote the best essay I believe a third grader could write. So proud of her. I just wish she wasn't so hard on herself and knew I don't expect perfection just her best. But of course I am an adult and still think that I have to be perfect and beat myself up if I mess up or sin. I am grateful for this time when I am able to see these breakthroughs in her learning process and be there to experience her "lightbulb" moments that put a glow of pride on her face. Love those moments!! That makes those crazy weeks when I wonder what is it all worth and why am I doing all this so worth it.