Day After

My surgery went well yesterday!  The doctor fixed my uterus, put medicine in my extremely inflamed bladder, took out my right ovary that had the cyst and was continually getting inflamed and causing pain, and ablated the endometriosis.  I'm very sore to say the least.  What I couldn't get over was the pictures from 3 years ago when I had this similar procedure done and the pictures he took this time.  Three years ago my tissues were very healthy looking and this time they were red and "angry" looking.  Everything was so inflamed.  I can't get over how red it was and how these last two years it was causing constant pain.  I'm really praying that with the ovary removed and bladder back in proper position I'll be able to sleep again on my stomach or my back all through the night.  I see the doctor again in three weeks and we'll be discussing our options for inflammation and treating the endometriosis now that I've weaned Annaliese.

Today after seeing the pictures I wonder if I should have just gone ahead with the hysterectomy.  The surgeon is a Christian and prays over me before surgery.  Right before surgery he kneeled at my bedside and prayed and then popped up and said, "Wow!  Usually it takes me a few moments to really hear the Holy Spirit and what I should be praying for but wow this time I can feel the Holy Spirit just all over you!  It's truly amazing!  We are gonna to do great in this surgery!"  That gave me such a peace.  What a blessing to have such a faithful doctor treating me and being obedient to God.  He also told me and Craig that he sees I'm just not ready yet to have a hysterectomy.  He wants to make sure that I'm truly ready and not being pushed.  He said that I will know and come to him saying, "It's time!  Let's do it!"  I struggle with God's will on removing these parts of me that he created.  Yet I was completely fine with him taking my ovary.  I'm conflicted that I may be taking control of something He hasn't ordained.  At the same time I've been in so much pain this last year that the soreness from this surgery is minimal to the pain I was experiencing before.  Even Craig is amazed at how well I'm recuperating in a days time.  I guess the doctor is right I will just know when it's time to remove everything. Either way he wants to do the hysterectomy within 5-7 years.  He says there is no doubt in his mind that it will alleviate a tremendous amount of my pain.  Already I'm wondering how right he may be.

I'll be recovering this week and my Trinity will be helping me as much as she can since I can't pick up Annaliese for 10 days.  Only 8 more days to go.  Craig has to be back at work by Tuesday and although he's working from home he really isn't available to do much for me.  He plans to take his lunch break at dinner time to help me since that's the craziest part of the day.  He also has to lift Annaliese into her crib and lift her out and bring her up and down the stairs.  But we will get through this week the best we can and with God's grace.  Now I just have to work on my patience with the kids.  They are all so relieved it's over that Trinity is dancing everywhere and Brendan is running everywhere like speedracer.  Annaliese is her cute little demanding self.  God knows I love these children more than my life.  I thank God that I've been blessed with these three beautiful lives.  And right now that is enough for me.